This Is What My Bipolar Looks Like During Holidays (Thanksgiving to New Year’s)
The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many of us living with bipolar disorder, it’s not that simple. The mix of family gatherings, financial pressures, seasonal changes, disrupted routines, and emotional expectations can stir up both highs and lows. For me, the holiday season doesn’t always look like joy and sparkle—it often looks like navigating mood swings in the middle of twinkling lights. Over the years, I’ve learned a few ways to make the season feel more manageable, and I hope sharing my experiences can help others feel less alone too.
When the Holidays Trigger the Lows
For me, the depressive side of bipolar often shows up first with seasonal depression. Some years it’s stronger than others, and I never know which year it will hit harder. The short winter days add to the weight, leaving me with little energy or motivation to join in. The pressure to be cheerful can make the heaviness feel even heavier, like I’m failing at something everyone else seems to do so easily. I’ve spent Christmas mornings fighting the urge to stay in bed while everyone else is celebrating.
Decorating or hosting events can also add pressure. You feel like you’re supposed to have it all together. When I’m already seasonally depressed, even something as small as a slightly lopsided Christmas tree can convince me I’ve failed. My Christmas village, which I normally love setting up, can take me hours—not because it’s hard, but because I get overwhelmed with making the layout “perfect.”
Meals are another source of both joy and stress. I love cooking for my family and having everyone at my house, but I worry about every detail—whether the dishes will turn out, whether I’ve done too much or not enough, whether the food will be “good” enough. This pressure carries me straight from Thanksgiving into Christmas and then into New Year’s, without the break that some people get in between.
The holidays are stressful for almost everyone, but with bipolar disorder, they can feel like a minefield of emotions. I try my best to navigate the season without sinking too deeply, but it takes work and a lot of self-awareness.
One thing that helps is giving myself permission to scale back. I focus on smaller, doable things—like watching a favorite holiday movie, lighting a candle, or showing up for just part of an event. Even small connections or simple traditions can bring comfort without draining me completely.
Another trick I use is leaning into my OCD tendencies. I plan the heck out of the holidays. For me, a checklist for each meal, decoration, and present is key to knowing that I’m not failing. Since I know seasonal depression will show up in some way, having a plan eases both the anxiety and the stress of the season.
When the Holidays Spark the Highs
On the flip side, the holiday season can sometimes push me toward the hypomanic side of bipolar. All the lights, music, gatherings, and excitement can feel like fuel on an already racing mind. I can get caught up in a burst of energy, starting ten projects at once—decorating every corner, buying too many gifts, or staying up until 3 a.m. baking cookies I never planned to make. At first it can feel good, even productive, but it often comes with overspending, exhaustion, and eventually, a hard crash.
During these times, I have to be extra careful about boundaries. I try to stick to a budget, even if it means walking away from “just one more” online deal or not buying everything on the grandkids’ wish list. I also make sure to pause and check in with myself before saying yes to every event or taking on too many responsibilities. Sometimes the most helpful thing I can do is slow down, remind myself I don’t have to do everything, and let a few things go undone. Slowing down also means letting go of control—like asking others to help prepare parts of each meal—so I’m not carrying the full weight of the holiday.
Another strategy is leaning on routines, even when the holidays want to sweep them away. Keeping a consistent bedtime, taking my medications on schedule, and not skipping meals are all little anchors that help me stay grounded when the season amps me up.
The “rush” of the holiday season can sometimes lead straight into the lows. A depressive episode might show up in the middle of December, or it may not hit until halfway through January. For me, keeping track of where I am in my cycle is one of the best ways to stabilize my mood and prepare for the shift when it comes.
Finding Balance in a Season of Extremes
For me, the holiday season with bipolar disorder is a mix of extremes—deep lows that make even simple traditions feel heavy, and bursts of energy that tempt me to overdo it. Some years lean more toward depression, others toward hypomania, and often I experience both before the season is through. What I’ve learned is that the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.
By giving myself permission to slow down, asking for help, and keeping realistic expectations, I can move through the season with a little more steadiness. Sometimes that looks like checklists and careful planning, other times it looks like skipping an event or letting the cookies burn without calling it a failure. The truth is, bipolar or not, no one has a “perfect” holiday—and that’s okay.
If you’re living with bipolar, remember that your way of moving through the season is valid. Whether you need to scale back, lean on routines, or share responsibilities, it doesn’t make you less capable or less loving. It makes you human. The best gift you can give yourself is compassion—because the holidays aren’t about doing everything, they’re about finding moments of connection, comfort, and peace in the middle of it all.
