Honoring the In-Between: What Stability and Plateaus Really Look Like
Let’s talk about the weirdest phase of living with bipolar disorder: stability. You know, that elusive “normal” state everyone’s always preaching about in therapy and wellness blogs. It’s supposed to be the goal, right? Symptom-free. Balanced. Probably drinking green smoothies while journaling in the sun. Who says what “normal” is anyway? And let’s be real—how are you supposed to be symptom-free when you can’t even tell if this latest mood dip is PMS or a full-blown depressive episode?
Except… when you finally land in this fabled middle ground, it’s not all that glamorous. No fireworks. No sudden insight. No angels singing because you managed to sleep eight hours and pay your phone bill on time. Just… meh. Welcome to the plateau. No one probably even noticed. If they did, they think something’s wrong. Or even better, you get no credit for making it to the mystic land of stability—it was just the drugs, right? The plateau looks great from above or below, but in reality, it’s kind of boring. Just flat horizon and no real scenery.
When I first hit a stable period after a storm of hypomania and depression, I genuinely thought it was going to be great to be off the rollercoaster. But then it seemed that something was wrong. I wasn’t crying on the bathroom floor—but I also wasn’t planning the next three projects or buying the supplies for a backpacking trip through Southeast Asia that would never happen. (I am not a fan of the outdoors!) Instead, I felt like I was moving at half speed. Trying to do a ton of little things to make me feel like I was “accomplishing” something, anything. Where was my inspirational comeback arc? Did ironing the dish towels really count as “doing” something? It seemed that even depressed, I did more than this (not really because getting out of bed was BIG.)
Stability can feel suspicious. Like a trap dressed up as a yoga retreat. Is this peace, or am I just dissociating with better hygiene? Am I being mindful, or did I just forget what I walked into the room for again? Should I be doing more? Less? Is this what functional adults do—fold socks and drink tea without spiraling? Or is this apathy in a cute outfit trying to trick me into thinking I’m “fine”? It’s like being on a travel plateau that looked dreamy on the brochure—serene and expansive—but when you arrive, it’s just endless flatness, no views, no peaks, no valleys, just you, a folding chair, and your thoughts.
No one tells you how hard the middle can be. The intensity is gone, sure—but so is the drama. The adrenaline. The certainty that at least something is happening—even if nothing is really happening. It seems like even your to-do list isn’t really doing anything—no matter what you cross off. In stability, everything is a little blurry. Time slows down. You start asking weird questions like “what do I actually enjoy?” and “who am I without chaos?”
The truth is, plateaus deserve more credit. It’s actually harder to hold a plateau, because you’re not actively climbing or falling. You’re trying to stay level in a fog, and that fog makes it easy to forget things—like medications, appointments, and routines. And another risk: the longer you stay on the plateau, the more comfortable you become. Not because it’s fulfilling, but because it’s familiar. Safe. And that makes it harder to notice when things start to slide.
So if you’re living in the in-between, don’t brush it off. This space—the quiet, the awkward, the “meh”—is where a lot of healing actually happens. It’s not flashy. It’s not Instagram-worthy. But it matters. You’re building strength in ways no one claps for. And even if it feels like you’re standing still, you’re still showing up. That counts. Every. Single. Time.
And hey, if all you managed today was eating breakfast at an actual breakfast time, resisting impulsive online shopping, and deciding not to adopt a dog because you were “feeling spontaneous”—bravo. That’s stability in action. You’re doing better than you think. Keep going. Your plateau might not have fireworks, but it has you. And that’s enough.